The topic of submission has always been a controversial one, especially within our community. There seems to be this stigma in 2016 that says women must be independent and not need a man for anything. There is NOTHING WRONG with being a strong Black sister and being self sufficient, but allowing a man to enter your life and provide for you and to protect you is not a bad thing.
The problem seems to be when that man has expectations and limitations. He may not want you asking the last three men you slept with for a ride home from work. He may not want you to leave the house with the super tight mini skirt and no panties, he doesn’t care about your panty lines, nobody does, but you. You have been speaking to who you want, and wearing what you want for as long as you can remember and you will be damned if a good man will put limitations on your shenanigans. You won’t stand for it. Right?
Sure you can offload responsibility for this onto him, and say he’s insecure, but in reality he’s trying to maintain he security of his woman and their relationship. Sure there are men who are insecure and will have a problem with everything, but you have to weed them out. God gave you discernment, use it. Take advantage of your feminine charms to see what a man is about in subtle ways BEFORE you commit to him. A man who is a good man will put you before him often enough anyway, so in return give him some support. Submit to his will, allow him to LEAD you. If he begins to lead you places you don’t like, you don’t have to go with him there anymore. You don’t have to be a fool to follow.
All I, and many brothers, ask is this…
Allow us to be a good man to you, don’t hold us accountable for the screw ups you have encountered in life.
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