I HOPE YOU DANCE || A MOTHERS OPEN LETTER

By: Latisha Griffiths-Avent

To Sascha and Niylah

Sascha, my first born… You are the absolute reason I am the person I am today. I had no idea where life was taking me at the age of 16. It was filled with self-doubt, no confidence, no self-esteem and I didn’t know my worth. I allowed someone to dictate I was worth nothing, to embed in my thoughts that I was stupid and my life was worth zero. I was battered and bruised physically and emotionally. I healed faster from the physical bruises. Emotional scars still linger today. But with God’s grace he gave me a reason to live and fight back. That sole reason is you, my princess. On June 21st, @ 10:35a.m., after 26 1/2 hours of labor on the first day of summer, a beautiful little girl was born. I loved you more than I loved myself and made the decision on THAT DAY, I was choosing you over HIM! As a single teenage parent, I was blessed to have the support of my mother, my grandmother, aunts, uncles and childhood friends who stepped in because they loved you too! I wanted you to have the best of everything. I worked 2 and 3 jobs which resulted in my time away from you but I wanted your future to be better than MINE. I wanted to protect you and keep you safe so I made some decisions that maybe you may never understand. A mother does what a mother needs to do to protect her baby. You are LOVED beyond the sky & the moon. My, my my how proud of you I am. The day I saw you graduate with a regents diploma from High School, I cried so hard like someone died. And when you graduated from college, it gave me the idea to want to go back to college so you could be proud of me. I don’t think you knew that. I Hope You Dance. I hope you get out of your own way and know that you can be a kick ass journalist, blogger, writer. At 2 years old, your writing skills were on fire. Now start writing the next great novel. I see you on the Times Best Sellers list for sure. I love your relationship with Niylah. You guys are two peas in a pod. I sometimes chuckle when I overhear your conversations. Sometimes I get jealous smile emoticon. Motherhood is sometimes hard but you’re doing a great job. you’ll make some mistakes and that’s quite alright. As long as Niylah knows you love her you can correct those mistakes. Always make her #1, put her first and let her know she is loved always.
You will always be my baby so don’t fret when I treat you like one. I only mean well and want the absolute best for you. You deserve nothing less than that.

Niylah, I was blessed to be in the labor room and see you come into this world. My first granddaughter, I didn’t know that once I laid eyes on you, my heart would expand 1000%! It was one of the blessed days of my life. From the moment I held you, I knew that you belonged to grandma. I whispered gently to you that I would protect you, guide you and be here for you. My life changed that day. I didn’t know I could love another being besides my own children the way I loved you. You sowed up some broken pieces in grandma’s heart. For our family, you brought back life into our household. The house is never a dull moment now because of you. Your smile gives us all joy. When you enter the house, the energy shifts to a house full of energy. Now when I think of my life I plan for the better, to do better, to always make you proud of me, to give you a better life and to take care of myself to live. Because of you, I eat better, exercise and make daily choices to be healthier. I promised you I would run with you, play with you and be able to hang with you, so changes had to be made. It Is because of you Grandma got a new take on life. I am branching out to entrepreneur to be able to spend more time with you.
I believe you are one special girl. You are destined for greatness. I enjoy our talks they are far more extensive than your age. You speak as though you’ve been here before. So eloquently, so intelligently. You’re fierceness and leadership will take you far. My heart smiles and I smile overtime I’m with you. I love our favorite song we made up with each other. Prairie dawn, prairie dawn…. And we both have the same sentiment when I drop you off at school. My heart melts when you say: “grandma don’t leave me!” I count the hours till we see each other again.

I hope I never disappoint you and that you always look at me through your eyes and heart and are always proud of me.

I Hope You Dance
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance….I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance….I hope you dance.

I hope you dance….I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance….I hope you dance.
I hope you dance….I hope you dance.
I hope you dance….I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

 

 

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